If your marriage is not particularly good, can you name one thing that would turn it around?

1-8Prager-776

That's double seven six, Prager. You said triple.

The question is: can you name one thing your spouse could do that would make the marriage better? Is there an, "If only [Steve] would..." ?

I can think of a number of things that he should have done. "Listen more" was Prager's first example; it was mine too.

When a man hears he doesn't listen enough, he doesn't know what to do with that. We men are spectacular at listening enough; we are spectacular at reading manuals, or getting instructions. If the wife said, "Honey, I was 22.5 minutes of listening time at 6:30 p.m." he would reply "fantastic!"

Here's the female response, and Prager believe it's a problem: "Well, he should know." I think it's a horrible problem, too. There's also "If you loved me you would know" or "would think it out." And women wonder why men are baffled by us.

She should say, "Here's how I know you're listening." There are books on active listening, how to reflect back what she just said (by phrasing it in his own words) and show he's listening. Assertiveness training often covers this stuff.